Executive Malfunctions

. . . if it isn’t constant financial humiliation due to my brain working differently than that of most people. (AKA the consequences of my own inaction.)

So I might as well do nothing.

Brain: OMG PLEASE DO THAT IMPORTANT THING! Me: No. Brain: But you’ll go broke and fail and be sad and dead. Me: And?

No you don’t. Yes, everybody briefly forgets what they went into the room for. I guess what makes this thing different is that I will walk into a room for a specific purpose and end up doing something else entirely. Example: I just went upstairs to get my laptop. When I got upstairs, I suddenly…

I didn’t catch what you were saying because I was busy telling myself to listen.

It’s going to happen. I’m going to do that important thing. I’m just ramping up to it while I check Reddit. Woah, that’s an interesting post. Now I need to know all about how that could happen, when it started, where those people are now, etc. Yes, I’m still going to do that important thing,…

Seeing that Adults with ADHD are five times more likely to commit suicide than regular folks. I wonder if the reason could be that y’all have created a whole-ass world that largely rewards qualities we can never possess? It’s a puzzler, all right.

I love a solo road trip. License to daydream! Just good music and thought-stream. Here’s a funny thing that happens now and then: I’ll notice one of those big green signs listing the miles to upcoming towns, and though I want to take in the information, my brain is churning so hard that I’ll actually…

Few ever mention ADDers’ precarious impulse control–especially when it comes to angry outbursts. I somehow missed the signature-required delivery window of a new phone today and . . . blew the fuck up. I have improved so much over the years, but his aspect of the ADD thing has cost me jobs, relationships, money, pride,…

You may say I’m a [maladaptive day]dreamer, but I’m not the only one. (Just learned about this and am floored.)

Baby, this brain train moves on ENCHANTMENT or ANXIETY! FASCINATION or FEAR. Otherwise, we’re either revving in neutral (like trains do, duh) or chugging down a random track to nowhere.

I need to find some new clients. Like, desperately. So while screaming that to myself, I’ll stare out the window to see if some appear. Failing that, I’ll scroll the ol’ phone-aroo.

There’s a Greek chorus in my head. But they each have a different interpretation of what is happening now, and what should happen next. Also, they’re all talking at once and turns out they aren’t huge fans of me.

You handed out the papers and were giving instructions, but your pantsuit is the same color as the Philadelphia Eagles, and they aren’t very good, but they have really cool helmets and I should try and draw one and. . . . . . now everyone is quiet and working, we have five minutes to…

However it may appear, I’m doing my best to break free of this paralysis. The name-calling helps, though. Thanks.